Three kids, two dogs, one husband…keeping my head above the laundry pile one load at a time…

Dad In Charge (Like Charles In Charge, but not)

on February 14, 2012

Today I needed to go to school early to decorate for the Rockin’ Rodeo Dance-A-Thon (more on that another day), so I left Kids’ Dad (I’ll call him KD from now on because I really don’t like the DH nickname – although DH could stand for so many, many things besides “Darling Husband” – but I digress) in charge of the morning routine  Let’s see how that played out, shall we?

  • I remind the children to get dressed, eat breakfast, brush their teeth and put their agendas in their backpacks.  I ask Ryan to watch his time because he gets distracted easily.  And he was immersed in something Star Wars on the computer….which can make time fly (it’s like me and Pinterest….what seems like 5 minutes is actually an hour).
  • Cell phone rings while I’m at school.  It’s Alex, looking for his class Valentine’s.  I had them with me because when I asked the boys if they wanted to take them to school or if I should, they responded “yes”, which I interpreted to mean “yes, mom, you take them to school”.  They meant “yes, they would take them.”  Perhaps I should have turned off Sponge Bob before asking them this question.  Instruct them to meet me in the foyer when they get to school.
  • Bell rings, no one meets me in foyer.  Assume KD has also lost track of time and boys are late. Go to their classrooms to see if they are there.  Both boys are taking off their boots and not late.  WINNING!  Then, I notice what Owen is wearing.  Today is the Rockin’ Rodeo and they are supposed to wear something with a western look.  Owen is wearing his hockey jersey – that he wore the night before at hockey practice, which involved lots of sweating.  Worse yet, his PAJAMA shirt is under it!  “Did your dad see you before you left the house?”  “Yes.”  Not WINNING!
  • Finish decorating and return home to assess damages (and frost some cupcakes for the bake sale).  I see Ryan’s trumpet on the floor.  Check Ryan’s schedule.  Yep, band this afternoon.  Guess who’s going to be calling at lunchtime.
  • Ask KD about Owen’s attire.  “I asked him if he was all ready and he said yes.”  “And you believed him?”  I ask incredulously.  “Rookie mistake.”
  • Also see only one cereal bowl on counter.  Simple math:  three children + one bowl = two children didn’t eat breakfast.  “Did the boys all eat breakfast?”  “Yes, I put away the cereal and the milk.”   “So that means they all ate breakfast?  Why only one bowl?”  (I’ve watched every season of Law & Order, I know how to question a suspect.)  “Well, I put away the cereal and cleaned up the table.”
  • 11:27, phone rings.  “Mom, can you come pick me up?  I forgot my trumpet.  And half my lunch.”

Next time I leave KD at home in charge, I am going to have to leave a VERY detailed list of what to do.   You would have thought it was his first day on the parenting job.


6 responses to “Dad In Charge (Like Charles In Charge, but not)

  1. Too funny! My KD’s excuse is that if you add up the number of hours that he’s actually “on the job” parenting, it’s as if our 3-year-old is still 6 months old (or something… this is when I stop listening), so how could he know all these things? I have so much more experience. Oy.

    • Lisa Benter says:

      Thanks for reading and commenting, Naomi. My favorite is when my mother-in-law asks if KD “babysat” while I attended an evening meeting. Umm, no. It’s called “raising his children” not “babysitting”. Ugh.

  2. Stephanie says:

    Oh dear! This is why I have control issues. Sometimes it is easier to do the job yourself instead of all that delegating! I don’t think my kd even knows what goes in a lunch box and what time school starts

    • I know. My husband has finally figured out where the school is, but he has no idea when it starts (day of year or daily time), ends (day of year or daily time), who the kids’ teachers are, where their classrooms are located, etc. I don’t get it. It’s not like I was born with this knowledge! And, it doesn’t help that I’m a control freak, either.

  3. Beverly says:

    Oh, my dear Lisa….when will we ever learn. I fear you are just as optimistic about your KD as I am about mine. They are intelligent fellows, really, they are–they have the post-grad degrees to prove it. And sometimes I fear that’s the problem. They’re too intelligent to take care of their offspring because they expect the children to behave the latest computer program/electronic gadget/mechanical toy.By this stage they should be well oiled machines capable of handling whatever it is that they are supposed to handle so long as you point them in the right direction. At least one kid got breakfast. Over winter break, my KD took on responsibility for all 3 while I was at work. I arrived home the first day and they all practically tackled me. Once settled in, I say “so, what did they have for lunch?” to which he replied”Lunch? They really didn’t eat today. But, they did drink a LOT of milk.” For the rest of the break, I made sure lunch was in the fridge with the warming instructions. I now believe him when he claims to have a parallel universe.

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