Three kids, two dogs, one husband…keeping my head above the laundry pile one load at a time…

Updated Job Description

on March 20, 2012

I have some issues with my Mom Handbook and Mom Job Description.

In the last twelve hours, I have disposed of a very dead Beta fish (rest in peace, Fishy) and cleaned up doggie diarrhea in the living room (the only good thing is that the guilty dog had the grace and foresight to poo on the hardwood floor in the living room, not the Restoration Hardware rug in the family room…for that, I thank him or her).  Nowhere in any parenting handbook have I ever read anything about disposing of a dead fish or cleaning up doggie do-do.  Maybe it’s because my attention was diverted by the arts and crafts projects.  The glitter must have distracted me.

After taking care of both of these smelly issues, I spent the rest of the day trying to cleanse my nasal palate of the horrific odors.  Alas, the Party Lite lilac votive is no match for a doggie’s stomach gone wild.  [In fact, it brought to mind a joke my uncle told when I was about 8 years old.  The fact that I can remember this joke, but not what I had for breakfast this morning, is a bit disconcerting, but alas, it pretty much sums me up.  I know you are dying to read the joke, so here it is:  An Avon lady is riding alone in an elevator when she passes gas.  The smell is a bit “unpleasant”, so she reaches into her sample bag and pulls out the Avon Evergreen Air Freshener Spray and sprays it liberally in the elevator.  Soon after, the elevator stops and a man steps in.  He takes a few sniffs and makes a face.  The Avon lady asks what he thinks of the fragrance.  His response?  “Smells like somebody sh*t a Christmas tree.”  I know, I know, corny as can be, but I laugh a little to myself every time I smell a pine scent.]

As sad as it may seem, my mommy day is not done.  I must tuck in the two youngest and then turn my attention to the icky black gunk that has formed in Maggie the dog’s ears.  Another entry in my revised Mom Job Description.


4 responses to “Updated Job Description

  1. sewmama says:

    funny…no fish died in my house today but the dog managed to poop AT THE SAME TIME SHE WAS EATING DINNER!! Clearly there was no preventing that one 😦

  2. RachRiot says:

    So true, Lisa! I knew I wanted to be a SAHM ..but I didn’t know that last “M” also meant MAID, MAGICIAN, MARTYR and MANURE cleaner!! (I do, however, think I deserve a MEDAL!)


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