Three kids, two dogs, one husband…keeping my head above the laundry pile one load at a time…

Put Me In Coach

on May 10, 2012

Tonight is Owen’s second baseball game of the season.  Tonight is also my second night as assistant coach of Owen’s baseball team.  Actually, I consider myself the assistant to the assistant coach, because I’m in charge of scheduling snacks, keeping score, announcing the batting order (good thing I’m a good yeller, I can shout out who’s up to bat, on deck and in the hole, then tell the kids that “in the hole” is the proper term and it isn’t anything naughty), and keeping the kids from climbing the wire batting cage while they are waiting for their turn to bat.  I am not actually teaching the kids how to play the game.  Phew!

So, I’m one game into the season and I’ve already learned some valuable lessons:

  • Keeping score is not an easy job.  You have to pay attention all the time.  There is no time for chatting.  No time for getting distracted by the dandelions on the field.  You must pay attention to the game and the little boys who all look the same under their black baseball caps and batting helmets.  You have to wear your glasses so you can read the numbers on the back of their t-shirts.  We may say it’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game, but to these 8 year olds, the correct score matters.
  • Baseball gear seems to have a mind of its own and an ability to move without human assistance.  For years, I have spent countless hours searching for misplaced baseball caps, gloves, cleats and uniforms.  I blamed my children for not being careful with their things and not putting them back where they belong.  I was wrong.  I’m getting ready for my second coaching gig and I’ve already lost my official “Coach” red polo shirt.  I had nothing to do with it.  One day it was here, the next day it wasn’t.  Clearly it wasn’t me who didn’t put it away properly.  I mean, really, why would I casually toss it down somewhere instead of hanging it in my closet where I would be able to easily find it the night of the game?  The shirt has hidden itself from me.  It’s obvious, isn’t it?  And all these years I was blaming the kids.  Sorry, boys.
  • The baseball diamond is no place for cute capri pants and even cuter plaid canvas Sperry’s.  Nope, not a good place at all.  The red dirt on the field may match the pink and orange plaid on the Sperry’s, but it doesn’t look good.  And the dads roll their eyes when you ask the boys not to kick the red dirt on your cute shoes, cute pants and bare ankles.  So, note to self, don’t dress up for the game.  Find your official “Coach” polo shirt and pair it with some yoga pants.  Or jeans.  Jeans seem to be ok too, based on the dads’ coaching attire.

If I’ve learned this much after only one game, imagine the knowledge I’ll be able to share after a complete season.  Stay tuned and be prepared to be informed!


2 responses to “Put Me In Coach

  1. outlawmama says:

    Omg. It sounds so hard. I hope my kids do ballet!

  2. S. Ferguson says:

    And watch for foul balls.

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